i just wanna soil my oats bro
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
