god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
