i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize