vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
