dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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