if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
