Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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