He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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