i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
