Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
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