Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
