Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize