did you get engaged???
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize