so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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