I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
