note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
lets start a swedish sibling band together
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
