It's Friday. Sex?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
there is glitter all over my balls
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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