she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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