he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
