Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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