I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize