By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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