i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
