Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
