you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
