I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
