Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
