he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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