I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize