he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
