never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
