just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
