we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I understand Curling. That high.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
