That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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