theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
