My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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