I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
