I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I supernannyed him into submission
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
