Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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