Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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