So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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