Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
