Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You made out with two different species that night
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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