my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
