So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
