I want to make a zoo with you.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
