you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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