I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
