Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
