All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
