Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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