bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
