I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
