so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize