i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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