she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
