it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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