Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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