sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
