I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
